Hillary vs. Barack- The 2008 US Open Championship Match

In an act of sheer rebellion against the incredible bias demonstrated by the media in the presidential primary election, I am utilizing this month's Match Point to issue my wholehearted endorsement of Hillary Rodham Clinton for President. It's not much of a stretch to liken the fascinating Democratic Primary to a gritty, hard-fought tennis match; Clinton the battle-tested, accomplished veteran taking on Obama, the young upstart with a couple of Tier III titles under his belt, but nothing in the way of multiple Grand Slams.

Currently we find ourselves in the midst of an absorbing final, where the original draw, filled with a slew of excellent, multi-talented players has been whittled down to just two, engaging in a dramatic see-saw affair. Envision a US Open final, with a Super Sunday stalwart, Roger Federer versus a plucky, dynamic Jo-Wilfried Tsonga. Or even last year's Wimbledon Women's final, with the grass court brilliance of vetted Venus Williams versus the quirky, Pierce Brosnan-supported, unexpected arriviste Marion Bartoli. Hillary won the first set 6-1, in keeping with the perception that she was the inevitable Democratic nominee, then took the second set 6-3, consistently outplaying Barack in most of the games (debates). They were on serve with Hillary up 4-3 in the third set, in keeping with her solid performance on Super Tuesday, where she won all of the big states except for Illinois. Obama then went on a roll, turning the match around with a run of 11 games in a row, taking the third set 6-4 and serving up a bagel in the fourth 6-0, leveling the match at two sets apiece. Now he stands with a 2-0 lead in the final set, up an early break. As everybody knows, a good tennis match isn't over until the final point, and in spite of the media's attempt to call this election for Obama due to Hillary's injury time out, I fully expect Hillary to fight hard for victory, and to get back on serve come March 4, winning 3 out of 4 games in OH, TX, and RI. This match is certain to head to a fifth set tiebreaker, in US Open fashion, with an inevitable photo finish.

As for Hillary, this election is very personal for me, not only because I rabidly
follow politics and passionately believe in her candidacy, but because I've had my parents and a sibling literally brainwashed by FOX "News," which I find terrifying. These are intelligent people, yet they've been incapable of filtering anything the media presents to them, which is an increasingly common affliction across America. For years I've been building a well-deserved reputation as a reactive TV watcher, routinely yelling at the people on screen for their various offenses: hypocrisy, lying, bigotry, bias, stupidity.

The medium has become the entire message, with all of the major networks relentlessly drilling their masturbatory mantras into our heads- "The Best Name in News," or "News You Can Trust," or "Fair And Balanced," or "We Report, You Decide," or "The Best Team In Political Coverage," etc., etc. When did almost every single political reporter or journalist lose his or her poker face? I shouldn't be able to listen to a journalist on TV, and within seconds be able to say, "Oh, clearly an Obama supporter." I shouldn't have to endure watching fat, loud-mouthed men, only a shade or two removed from Archie Bunker in their demeanor, peddle their thinly-veiled misogynistic tendencies to an unsuspecting public, a la Tim Russert and Chris Matthews. Watching the MSNBC "debate" I was astonished by Tim's obsession with nailing Hillary. He acted like the third uninvited player on court, injecting himself, and his bloated self-importance into the proceedings, clearly relishing the opportunity to expose her for the fraud he feels her to be, and boosting his own self-esteem in an icky frat boy who scores big and brags to all who will listen kind of way. Not to be outdone, smarmy Chris has regularly ridiculed the esteemed Senator, equating her having been elected with a massive public pity party to make up for her being cheated on, and of course, his vile assertion that the Clinton campaign was "pimping out Chelsea" for votes. So Chelsea is fair game because she's 27, no longer the awkward, curly-haired, metal mouth who, even then, as a mere 12 year old, was vicious joke fodder for grown men like John McCain? When Obama's young girls occasionally appear at a campaign event, are they being pimped out? These two media thugs are such pigs that I want to see them glazed, with big red apples stuck in their mouths, and served up at Hillary's inaugural ball.


The media's disservice to the American voters is staggering in its scope. Obama has been able to skate by as freely as Tonya Harding, with virtually no scrutiny from a scared-to-be-perceived-as-racist-Hillary-hating media, while Hillary has been hammered relentlessly by bloodthirsty pundits and biased broadcasters. America's fascination with celebrity has pervaded every realm imaginable, from tennis courts to the pop culture juggernaut American Idol to the political sphere. The criteria with which we are analyzing and supporting our candidates seems to be massively misdirected, focusing on "likeability," "charisma" and "inspiration." We aren't choosing the next American Idol, people, we're electing the next President of the United States. At the end of the day, I care more that 28 generals and admirals have endorsed Hillary thus far than that Oprah has clumsily entered the political arena with her rush to anoint Obama King of the World. Indeed, Oprah skipped right ahead to the good part, losing the incredible opportunity to encourage her many viewers to simply VOTE, to get a huge number of mostly women to participate in the political process. In her zeal to validate her own megalomania- indeed, Oprah recognized a kindred spirit, somebody who inspired deification and personality worship- she deprived everybody of the notion of even CONSIDERING Hillary, and what she had to offer. For sure, her endorsement mentioned nothing about positions or politics, instead it fixated laser-like on personality. So quick was Oprah to make her pronouncement, that she didn't even bother to have the CONVERSATION. None of her viewers benefited from what undoubtedly would have been a fascinating discussion of race and gender and politics. She simply told people it was fine to vote their race, and look, it's her prerogative to vote however she wants to, but why deny your viewers the chance to consider their options? Race clearly trumped gender in the Oprah equation, and a chunk of America lost out as a result.

Honestly, comparing our two finalists on paper, it is abundantly clear which one we should choose as our champion. Hillary has likened choosing a president to hiring the best qualified candidate for an important job, which is very accurate. If you were to blindfold 100 people and read the resumes and job qualifications of each candidate, and instruct them to give the job to the best applicant, I'm confident that the vast majority of them would pick Hillary, hands down. As tennis players, Hillary competes with the smarts and all-court game of Martina Hingis, coupled with the mental fortitude and sheer power and determination of Monica Seles. Obama has the soaring physical rhetoric of Rafael Nadal combined with an arrogant self-belief, the dynamic flair, and great potential reminiscent of Novak Djokovic. There are many great things about both of our finalists, but I have to go with the one with more Grand Slam experience and who has been battle-tested time and again, and emerged stronger for it. While I enjoy the beauty of seeing Obama hit good oratory overheads during speeches, I have far more respect for the winning verbal volleys given by Senator Clinton during debates. Indeed, during all of the debates, Obama seems to stumble over his words, plucking ideas out of thin air, giving the impression of somebody who hasn't fully thought out the issues being discussed, whereas Hillary steadfastly demonstrates such a full, comprehensive grasp of the issues.

I'm a firm believer in patience and hard work with approach to running for president, or for any office, in fact. Pay your dues, participate fully, do the grunt work, follow through with your commitment to serve the people who elected you by completing your first Senate term, build relationships and coalitions with other politicians from across the country, and get the invaluable experience that will prepare you for the rigors of holding the highest office in the land. Don't cut in line, don't prioritize popularity as paramount to landing the job, don't distort your opponent's positions to score cheap political points, don't talk out of both sides of your mouth, and don't have your supporters and campaign staff use scare tactics to force superdelegates to switch their allegiance to you.

Throughout the primary election process, I have heard a variety of perspectives from MTG members, and they are overwhelmingly supporting Hillary. While I'm glad to see GLBT Tennis players backing my candidate of choice, I'm equally pleased to witness a highly engaged voting bloc that includes ardent Obama supporters. The overall slate of Democratic candidates from the outset was excellent and the Republican slate was anemic and pathetic by comparison. It's just like having a tournament filled with excellent players, as it creates an exciting atmosphere, complete with well-fought matches at every turn. I feel like I have been e-fighting with one MTG rabid Obama supporter, Charlie, for months now, conducting our own microcosm tennis election match, playing all of our points with gusto, and going for winners at every opportunity. Much like our two remaining candidates, we will undoubtedly shake hands and hug when this great match comes to a conclusion, and support the winner in (her) future endeavors.

The conclusion of our fifth set will be fascinating, no doubt. There's no denying that the notion of shaking up the political establishment as Barack claims he wants to do is heady stuff, and I relish the possibilities inherent to a changing of the guard in Washington. However, it is short-sighted and arrogant for him to co-opt the concept of "Change" asserting that he alone represents change of any kind in American politics, and that Hillary is just more of the same. The reality of the matter is that Hillary represents what will be watershed change, not only via her gender, but also because of the radical reversal in direction from the misguided path of George W. Bush regarding so many social, economic, cultural, scientific, political and international issues. Her reasoned, thoughtful, and diligent approach to the presidency will be staggeringly refreshing and will chart a new, hopeful, and determined course towards equality and opportunity for all. The mere words "President Hillary Clinton" will resonate worldwide in profound ways unseen up until this point. Hillary is a human being, complete with the flaws we don't seem to want to allow our politicians, and her ambition should be applauded, not denounced, as the simple fact of her gender DOES make her have to fight much harder to achieve the same goal. In fact, Obama's ambition overshadows Hillary's, as he barely started his first term in the Senate before deciding to seek our country's highest office, whereas she methodically went about her business, taking the time to meet and work with countless communities throughout New York state, and establishing herself as the most well-rounded, accomplished, hard-working office holder possible. I've heard people criticize Hillary for being seemingly blind to the her own flaws and foibles, and I'm always perplexed by that, as the Hillary I see is somebody who so wholeheartedly believes in America, and so sincerely wants the best possibilities for everybody, and truly believes she is the best agent of change to bring peoples' dreams to fruition. The amount of hard work, lack of sleep, and steadfast campaigning required to run for president is ample proof that Hillary cares deeply about what she's doing. She's picturing herself winning this match, believing she can win this race, not only because she will experience the glory of being Champion, but because of all that her being President will enable her to do for Americans, the international community, and for tennis players all over the world.

Economic Spewings on Bankruptcy Eve

From an email to a friend:

Yes, I know, and I’m hoping wise Independents like you vote for Hillary, and not for any insane Republicans, or Obama. I think we might disagree fundamentally (and perhaps I’m part-socialist, I don’t know) on the issue of rich people being taxed. I think there is such inequity between rich people and the rest of the population, that we have come to a social crisis in our country. People are told to aspire to the American dream, and are constantly fed messages of the value of money, and the importance of having tons of it. At the end of the day, the vast majority of people are going to be left feeling woefully inadequate. People seem to have lost the ability to be satisfied with a reasonable amount of anything. Why do we have morbidly obese people stuffing their faces with all they can get? Because they can. Rich people simply have many more options than simple food with which to fulfill their greedy cravings. I also think money hinders people from developing morality and the ability to care about others. It also breeds greed. For example, if Martha Stewart did take advantage of some insider info, and I’m not even saying she did, I think that indicates a high level of blindness to her own greed. What’s the $40,000 she’d gain from such behavior to a billionaire? Money leads people to do some very stupid things. Also, a lot of rich people don’t become that way through hard work, and once you’re rich, it’s much easier to stay that way, as money breeds money, in addition to greed. The rich become richer, and with Republicans in office, this hideous cycle remains healthily and robustly intact. Then, to make matters worse, people who are already rich are rewarded for being so rich (and wonderful). Just look at how we worship anybody with money in this country. Anybody who isn’t this wildly “successful” must be deeply dissatisfied. Success = Money in America, end of story. One jarring example that has always stuck with me is that of pro tennis players. They show up at a tournament, and are given elaborate gift bags with free iPods, expensive jewelry, etc., are thrown fabulous player parties with the finest food, and will be rewarded with huge prize money if they do reasonably well in the tournament. Who needs a new iPod less than a fucking filthy rich tennis pro who already has five of them?!? I’m not even saying it’s the players’ faults, because they didn’t create the revolting system, they’re just benefiting from it. They can afford to buy an iPod if they want one, they don’t need to be given one. I apply this principle to all pro athletes, movie stars, etc. I think it is absolutely disgusting that some people get paid $20 million for acting in a film, or $1 million for one episode of a stupid sitcom. What the fuck is wrong with our culture?!?!? That is soooooooo wildly disproportionate, especially when we could be paying teachers more for instilling education in our children, which is much more valuable than Matt Damon running around shooting things, as a cultural contribution. Money is supposed to be a false god, but in America, it’s about as real as you can get.

Somebody said to me the other day that they resented the tip jars you see populating the counters at Starbucks, and that people shouldn’t be paid $40,000 a year to pour coffee. I argued, “Why not? It’s hard work spending several hours in a row aggressively and speedily making overpriced beverages for endless long lines of people while pretending to be happy and upbeat, knowing that your pay essentially sucks.” I continued in this vein, as indeed, you know that Starbucks is making massive profits, so is it really that radical a notion to pay somebody a decent salary instead of the unrealistic $5 an hour, or even $8 an hour that nobody can honestly live on? What’s truly sick is that the people at the top of the Starbucks food chain would still make exorbitant profits! It all boils down to how we view the people who do these sort of jobs. They aren’t worth 40K. People who clean bathrooms, work as maids, drive trucks, or collect massive profits for McDonald’s at registers worldwide aren’t worth legitimate income. I say, why not reverse our thinking on this? The most undesirable jobs with the most grunt work garner higher pay! How many times have I heard somebody (usually myself) say, “Everybody needs to wait tables at least once in their life in order to understand what it’s like, and to have respect for what wait staff endure.” Waiting tables is damn hard work. Waiting tables builds character. This is precisely why you’ll occasionally have some grumpy rich person deciding on a dime to drop a $50,000 tip on the unsuspecting waitress who dutifully served his Eggs Benedict and coffee for the umpteenth time. In the sliver of a moment of clarity, the guy recognizes the essential truth of their dynamic, and in his own small way, tips the scales a bit. And the rest of us titter and gush about the magnanimity of it all, often failing to see that the profundity lies not in Rich Big Guy saving Poor Little Gal, but in his acknowledging her “worth”- really, her work, her contribution, their essential common humanity.

Therefore, I have a huge problem with the rich not getting taxed the fuck out. They can afford to be taxed at a high rate, and it eases the burden on people who aren’t as smart, talented, connected, or educated enough to get ahead in their own lives. Why shouldn’t we all try to take some responsibility for our fellow countrypeople? If I can afford to live a good life, and pay higher taxes so that some kid can have easier access to health care, then I’m all for it. Again, money makes more money, and if you’re astronomically wealthy, you can erase your tax losses with a few swift, good investments. That’s why it’s so repulsive that rich people bellow about unfair tax burdens. Give me a fucking break. It’s greed, pure and simple. They resent anybody taking away even one piece of their candy.

I’m with you on the school thing, our educational system is so desperately in need of vast overhaul, that it’s scary. If college didn’t cost so much in the first place, our country would be so much better off. Education shouldn’t have a price tag. We should want our population to be as educated as possible. That is precisely what would actually make us the best country in the world, but somewhere along the way we decided that hogging all of the money and the world’s resources was what made us somehow superior. In college, I had such hatred for the many rich kids whose parents could simply write the check for each semester, especially those who pretended to be enlightened, open-minded, poor hippies, or whatever, several of whom fucked off doing drugs and binge drinking, because they could afford to fail classes, or get shit grades. I had to work summer jobs, contribute to my own education, do work study just to have a tiny amount of money during the year, instead of focusing fully on my studies, which we all should have the option to do in college. In addition, I had to take out several big loans that have since ballooned into huge amounts of money I owe the student loan bastards, so I paid MORE for the same exact education as the rich people. They never had to think twice about any of this. Their bill was paid, and they could move forward.

It is precisely because our value as human beings is being determined in a financial context that further perpetuates such inequities. If college were basically free, you wouldn’t be in a situation where you’re competing against somebody with a completely different background from yourself for scholarships, financial aid, or simple admission, which is really a whole other area of falsely assessing other peoples’ worth. I wouldn’t have had to pay more for the same “product”- think of going into a store, and having wealthy people given access to a new coat for $100, and the poorest people having to pay $350 for the same exact coat. Outrageous, don’t you think? I would argue that more discrimination is promulgated by keeping the entrenched Republican values in place, than by passing certain Democratic programs. By continuing to support viewing everything through an economic lens, and by imbuing money with the power to define who we are as people- like every time you hear somebody say, “Oh, so-and-so’s worth $20 million...” -it only gets worse for the vast majority of people. Until we, as a society, take a good, hard look at our obsession with money, and find a way to stop defining ourselves with it, then I don’t see how significant change can be effected. However, I do know which political party is closer to this sort of scrutiny and self-analysis, and wants to help non-wealthy people, and it sure as fuck isn’t the Republican party, which is so far gone, via its longtime gorging at the economic trough, that utter delusion has set in, as they brazenly try to paint themselves as economic stewards, proponents of small government, caring about the little guy, and the kind of everyday folk you could have a beer with. Think George Bush’s fake cowboy routine and insincere drawl. The fool came from serious money, and serious connections! And he has been rewarded every step of the way, in spite of his monumental failures in every enterprise he ever undertook, and he even ended up with the presidency of the United States of America as the ultimate feather in his cap!

The dialogue is so distorted at this point, and we’re all so conditioned to continue our participation in our warped economic structure, that our national illness is like that cheesy 70’s movie, “The Blob”, just feeding on itself, and plodding along unhindered by the barriers of economic morality, or global consciousness, or hell, even national consciousness. If this makes me a radical socialist, then so be it. I at least want to maintain enough personal awareness about our obsessive worship of money that I don’t fall completely prey to it. I choose to value myself through other criteria than my income. I choose to appreciate what I have, and where I live, without feeling the need to look down on other people who have less than me, and without feeling any inclination to look up to those who have more. Soul, character and experience are much more important in assessing other people, or myself. I always bristle when people I’ve just met rudely ask, “What do you do?” or “Where do you live?” often in under 30 seconds from the an initial hello or handshake. It only takes most people that short a time to give into their own participation in the pattern of viewing everybody through an economic lens, and quickly assessing a person’s “worth.” Sometimes I stubbornly refuse to answer their tacky queries, and as a result, a conversation rarely evolves, as it soon becomes clear how uncomfortable people are deviating from this horrible mode of behavior. Eschewing this tendency might result in discussing something of substance, which sadly, most people don’t end up willing to do.

Serena into Semis!!!

Here's an email I sent to Peter Bodo of ESPN regarding my favorite tennis player, Serena Williams.

Hi Peter! It is SO refreshing to hear a tennis pundit astutely assess Serena's great progress through this year's Oz Open Women's Draw. I normally love all of the female commentators, but this year, they have all been way too critical of Serena, and they all have major egg on their faces for their inept predictions of her demise in every single round. Their desire to see her lose is palpable, their compliments begrudging, and laced with vitriol about a whole host of issues facing Serena. The bottom line is that Serena has a big butt, she always has. The fact that she's packed on some extra pounds doesn't change the fact that she is an extremely muscular and talented athlete. I mean, do they even look at her upper body? And underneath the bit of extra padding on her legs, reside some very strong muscles, indeed. Her weight is always going to fluctuate to a degree, and it ultimately doesn't matter. The underlying message conveyed is that we should want our Grand Slam Champions to be svelte, blonde, and small-assed, and that anybody not meeting these criteria is to be skewered in the press, and subjected to all sorts of scurrilous scrutiny about her body, and how ill-prepared for top-level tennis she must be as a result. There was nothing but pity and praise for Maria Sharapova (looking like a boiled lobster miraculously summoning enough energy to hop out of the pot and out of reach of Chef's hands) dragging her way across the finish line in her first round match, and while I don't think it seemed fair to submit the players to those scorching playing conditions, why is Maria lauded for her gritty resolve, and Serena blatantly criticized for her tenacity in her hard-fought wins? They make it sound like her opponents are handing her the matches, when in reality, Serena is taking the matches with the force of her willpower, and sheer determination to prevail. If Serena truly doesn't pay attention to what the media say about her, I'm glad, but ultimately, they've gotten it so wrong, it would provide her a good laugh. Perhaps all of the tennis commentators should have a dinner date with Serena to help celebrate her amazing victories thus far, where Serena can order whatever fattening item she wants from the menu, while Pam, Mary, Brad, and crew can all select a big serving of crow.

Marriage Ruminations

I think what bothers me most about the gay marriage debate is the fact that it IS a debate. It disgusts me that there are people out there who feel entitled to deprive others of something, as if their ability to get married has ANYTHING to do with mine. In fact, I find it supremely arrogant behavior, and wonder how heterosexuals would react if the roles were reversed, and somebody was telling them they couldn't have something they wanted?

I think it is nothing short of evil, the time, effort and money that is spent to create ballot initiatives that are designed to deprive other Americans (All Men {People} Are Created Equal) of things that would enhance OUR lives. To all of you people who voted Yes on Proposition 1 in Virginia, or Yes on any of the other states' hideous anti-gay, anti-American, anti-human propositions, YOU ARE SELFISH AND GREEDY. And incredibly misguided. Indeed, your behavior is incredibly symbolic of what's wrong with America today.

Nobody seems to believe that there's enough room at the table to accommodate everybody's happiness, and that it isn't simply enough for straight people to be able to get married and have all of the advantages provided by it, but they also need to hoard it for themselves like a piece of candy that can't possibly be shared. Somehow that makes it better! Don't we teach children to share right off the bat? It's one of the very first, and most important life lessons adults seek to teach kids. Yet, when it comes to practicing what they preach, heteros are severely lacking. IT DOESN'T MAKE YOUR MARRIAGE ONE BIT BETTER TO KEEP IT FROM OTHERS. There's the plain truth that no anti-gay marriage proponents will admit. You're just mean, stingy bullies when it comes down to it. I liken your behavior to cruel schoolyard children ostracizing their selected victim du jour, and trying to make their lives as miserable as your own, as ironically, you think that will somehow make you feel better.

Indeed the wretched Defense Of Marriage Act, a misnomer if there ever were one, is completely illogical. Gay people can get married in MA, and 8,000 or so couples already have since 2003. I would like to hear the statistics on how heterosexual marriage has suffered there (or anywhere) as a result. Oh, what's that you say? You don't have any statistics to back up that claim? How surprising. In reality, married heterosexuals' lives haven't changed a whit since then. You still have all the rights and privileges accorded to married people. You're still breathing, working, existing, being married. If ONLY we homos could exert such a great effect on hetero marriages! We would use those Super Marriage Powers to HELP you poor, abused straight people! The truth is, you DO need help with marriage 'cause you SUCK AT IT. Your divorce rate is OVER 50%, and your domestic violence statistics are staggering.

In fact, I think we need to create an Offense Of Marriage Act. Some sort of legislation that allows heteros to take responsibility for their OWN marriages, and encourages improvement of what is a dilapidated, mangled mess of an institution, by making it available to everybody. Straight people have ruined marriage all on their own, long before we gays started clamoring for it. If you believe so strongly in the sanctity of marriage, you should WANT us to get married, as having MORE people committed to marriage and the relationships it entails, and to their families (yes, we gays actually create families, and are quite good at it) would only serve to STRENGTHEN marriage as a whole, not the opposite, which is what you claim. If anything, heterosexuals are the ones who've attacked your own precious institution.

I use Britney Spears as the perfect example of how straight people have ruined marriage. Her first marriage, held in Vegas on a drunken whim, lasted 55 hours before it was annulled. Oops. I didn't mean to do that. It was an accident. I was drunk. Sorry! Heterosexuals don't even have to THINK about getting married! They can have the mere IMPULSE to do so, and wham, it's done! No questions asked. And what's even better, is that Britney could get divorced just as easily! Why, all she did was TEXT MESSAGE Kev that it was over (granted, I think she made a good decision, but that's another conversation altogether) and then went ice skating at Rockefeller Center. Yay, fun! Boom, marriage over.

The polar opposite of this innate ability to mindlessly marry is what we gay people do, which is to THINK about it in great detail. There are legal considerations, social considerations, parenting considerations, relationship considerations, so very many considerations that go into our approach to marriage. This is precisely why we're actually MORE suited for marriage than heteros. Taking it seriously, giving it great thought, and contemplating the meaning of it in our lives are INHERENT to our approach to marriage. We are incapable of approaching it in a casual, thoughtless way!

You guys should be BEGGING us to get married! Just think of all the validation you'd be creating for yourselves. You will be enhancing marriage like never before, by enabling people to contribute to the overall goodness of humanity. However, I fear this is too tall a task for most Americans, who lately seem to gravitate towards the choices in life requiring the least amount of thought and energy. Intellectual and societal laziness are conspiring to keep most people limited in their approach to living. It's easiest to simply stick our faces in the pie, and try to gobble it all up before anybody else can get a bite. Then we can sit there at the table, bloated and temporarily satisfied, and happy that nobody else got their mitts on our prize. This feeling ebbs away, however, and then the craving for more comes again, and the urge to hoard and deprive overtakes you, perpetuating the vicious, selfish cycle. There's only one way to break this cycle.

Share, people. It's for your own good, and everybody else's.

The Price Is Right On Election Day!

My favorite day of the year- Election Day!!! I love the voting machines here in NYC, they are completely old school, and there is no better sensation than pulling that lever across the ballot, except perhaps for that of spinning The Price Is Right wheel, something I am determined to do before I die.

Speaking of The Price Is Right, and death, Bob Barker is finally retiring after 35 years of hosting this show, a childhood favorite for sure. And while I applaud his tireless efforts over the years of controlling the pet population, he embodies the perfect representation of the current state of politicians today- meaning that you really get a clear picture of somebody's essence when you meet, or see, him or her in person.

Being part of the Price Is Right audience a few years back was an eye-opening experience, the sets are dilapidated relics from the 70's, several of the games were torn, tattered, and falling apart, or would plain malfunction midstream. The studio is a dump, and the seating area for the audience is quite compact. And Bob Barker is a jerk. An orange Oompa-Loompa faced jerk. During one commercial break, a pudgy, giddy housefrau, named Betty or something, from some Midwestern town, who had traveled thousands of miles to don her "Wichita loves Bob Barker!" sweatshirt could contain herself no longer, and burst out, "Bob, I've been watching you faithfully for 28 years, and I've waited this whole time to give you a kiss! Can I come up on stage and give you a kiss?" A sick, slow-motion-watching-a-car-wreck sensation settled over the studio upon Bob's bizarre reply, "Oh no, the last time I did something like that, I got sued for sexual harassment!" Yuck. In one fell swoop, Bob Barker busted Betty's long-held dreams, and alienated an audience irrevocably. To everybody present it was perfectly clear that Betty was hardly a "Barker's Beauty" and certainly didn't harbor any dastardly plan to create lawsuit fodder by jiggling her way into an untoward wanton situation on stage in front of a live studio audience. She simply wanted to cap the experience of a lifetime with a validating, innocent hug. Suddenly we all had an altered perspective upon return to taping the following segments. When Bob joked about a young, blonde college student "...never making it out of contestant's row," it suddenly took on a snide, nasty, vicious tone.

The most amazing revelation concerning all this, is the way in which TV alters your perceptions about people and physical things. The camera frames the Price Is Right set in such a way that you don't see the dilapidation of the set pieces and games. The cracks and peeling paint are at the top and bottom, and you only get to see the middle. The stilted awkwardness and plasticine faces of Barker's Beauties is massaged away by the camera. And Bob Barker's hard, mean personality is softened and muddled by the magic of TV film.

It is in much the same way that I have come to cynically analyze everything I see on TV, such as the political roundtable hosted by Tim Russert on MSNBC the other night. He had 2 Democrats and 2 Republicans as guests; one Congressperson and one Senator from each party. One of the guests was one of my wonderful New York senators, Chuck Schumer, who is uniformly brilliant, and highly appealing.

We're lucky in New York, as we have two such senators, the other being Hillary Clinton. When Chuck shook my hand and chatted briefly with me at a community event last year, he radiated warmth and charm. When smarts and charisma collide in one politician (or person) it is truly a winning combination, and you can count yourself lucky to have a representative who is so dedicated and appealing. I have had the pleasure of hearing Hillary speak on a couple of occasions, and she is dynamic, fiercely intelligent, and an excellent speaker of the tallest order.

Well, Chuck was being his brilliant self on MSNBC, representing the Democratic Senate Election Campaign, while his Republican counterpart, the wretched Elizabeth Dole (pronounced "Dough-wull") couldn't have been more awful. I was reminded of Bob Barker as she plowed over Tim Russert, refusing to allow him to direct questions to other panel members, and at one point, literally and shrilly reading NOTE CARDS filled with typical tired Republican rhetoric. I bet she never had an original thought in her life. She spouted lies as easily as anybody I'd ever heard, and not even a simple, rational contradiction from Tim could derail her vile agenda. I wanted to reach into the TV screen and wipe the smug smile off of her bad face lift. I began to be base in my thinking (I couldn't help it!), noticing the stretched skin of her face set atop her rumpled turkey neck, and how bony and strange her shoulders looked underneath the blue satin blouse she wore, and how they seemed to be on the same level as her ears. She looked like a hunched, freakish marionette reciting the same script over and over in that awful Southern accent, pronouncing the word "important" as "impourdent", the same exact way as the ridiculous, beer-swilling Bush twins do.

Now in case you think I judge too harshly, let us now proceed to the live Elizabeth Dole interaction Walter had a few years back when he worked at the Red Cross in New York, and dear Liddy was paying a visit to that office in her role as President of the Red Cross. This particular location was a center for homeless women and children, and she proceeded to tell a group of young children that, "The reason she made it so far in life was because her daddy whupped her!" Wow. Great message, Liddy. Granted, many of these kids had been abused terribly, so why not remind them that being beaten was their ticket out of poverty and a cycle of abuse! Later she told the employees that she didn't understand why these women (many of whom had been battered in addition to being homeless) chose to be on welfare. Yes, because I'm sure the vast majority of people choose to be poor, beaten, and homeless. What a monster! And THIS is who we had for the PRESIDENT OF THE RED CROSS. Reminds me exactly of our illustrious President Bush.

Somehow enough people are fooled by these creeps on TV, although it doesn't even take seeing Liddy or George in person for me to see through the thin veneer of humanness they failingly try to project, whereas it did take that for me to see the light with Bob Barker. Perhaps I was blinded by my desire to get my hands on that wheel...

All of this to say, given the choice of the following the voting recommendations of the terrific Chuck Schumer, or those of the monstrous Elizabeth Dole, people across the country have it easier than ever, and could create a Democratic landslide at the ballot box.

"Jim Webb, come on down! You're the next Senator on The Price Is Right!"
"Claire McCaskill, come on down! You're the next Senator on The Price Is Right!"
"Bob Casey, come on down! You're the next Senator on The Price Is Right!"
"And Bob Menendez, come on down! You're the next Senator on The Price Is Right!"

And now for a bit of September 11 Cynicism

I will preface this post by saying that I am in a really good mood today, and some of these reflections have dwelled within me for a long while now, and in responding to a co-worker's frustrated email, I was able to air some of them for consumption by others, I suppose, and mostly just to create an outlet for the many thoughts that have been banging around in my head, the following just being a smattering of those. The format of this post is a literal copying of my reply email.


I couldn't agree with you more. I waited for my cousin's name to be read this morning as I was getting ready for work, and luckily he's in the beginning of the C's, so it didn't hinder me from being on time, but I have to honestly say that even some of the family members were grating on my nerves, droning on about how they think of their lost loved ones every single moment of every single day. If that were true, they would be paralyzed. People just spout cliches left and right, and we have given so many people an unchecked platform from which to "hawk their wares" as pertains to their individual perspectives on 9-11.

The mere sight of George Fucking Bush, and that cunt Laura Bush on TV this morning, was enough to make me hurl. They should shut the fuck up on September 11th, and be far, far away from Ground Zero, instead of (re)soiling it with their hideously inappropriate presence.

Aside from the rampant use and abuse of 9-11 for political leverage or gain, the single most repugnant aspect of the aftermath of the attacks, was the constant viewing of 9-11 through a FINANCIAL lens, measuring the scope of the disaster in monetary terms; how much was my spouse worth, how much was he (or she) going to be worth, for how much can I sue the airlines, who can I hold responsible, and how much money can I extract from them, how much was the financial damage of this tragedy, what were the potential future losses, and on and on and on? Gag. The loss of someone dear can't be cured with an infusion into one's bank account. I find it repulsive that people try to replace a human being with wads of cash.

Also, one unspoken truth that never rears its ugly head in all of this, is that just because somebody dies doesn't mean that he or she was automatically a good person, even if the circumstances of that death were catastrophic and horrible. Anybody who died on Sept. 11th was instantly deified. Surely many mean and awful people perished on 9-11, along with the "good" and "loving" people. Certainly, there were people who had told a lie or two in their lifetimes, or done things of which they weren't so proud. There must have been some actual human beings who lost their lives that day? Nobody will admit to this though. I think many people have taken artistic license with the memory of those who died, rendering those peoples' histories malleable and manipulated. This in turn leads to the ease with which politicians utilize the memory of 9-11, and the memory of those people, to their own advantage. Republicans are so despicable, that not even some piece of shit propaganda film coinciding with the 5th anniversary of that day (and naturally, with the elections) is beneath them. Nothing is sacred as far as they're concerned, although judging from their pious faces and bowed heads, you'd be led to believe otherwise.

One more observation- listening to the names of the deceased being read this morning, I couldn't help but notice the cloying sounds of the violin and other instruments being played in the background, a la Titanic, slowly sinking. September 11th has officially been Hollywoodized, and amounts to a grandiose production number in a misguided musical. Indeed, our TV's and movie theaters have had several offerings on the subject of 9-11 during the past year or so. We somehow have distanced ourselves enough to now be "entertained" by the subject.

The TV movie about Flight 93 was the only one I saw, actually I watched it on an airplane, creepily enough, on my little personal TV screen. What great in flight entertainment! The movie was weird, chock full of clean, beautiful Americana-splendor homes filled with anxious wives, babies on hips, toddlers at feet, gardens and yards lush and green, appointments and furnishings comfy and never-ending. The terrorists were lucky brown actors, capitalizing on these plum roles, and playing their parts with gusto, but honestly, looking and seeming completely inauthentic, like costumed novices in a Miami Beach dinner theatre production. Absurd.

Actually, related to that topic, I remember distinctly how obsessed we Americans were with where celebrities were when the terrorist attacks happened. I don't give a flying fuck where rich famous people were on September 11th. I don't give a shit that Gwyneth Paltrow was doing yoga at Chelsea Piers or somewhere when it all unfolded. And that mentality was followed up with a sick obsession on the part of everybody to find a way to connect with the horrific events of that day. Like it was TRENDY to be involved, or to know somebody who died, or narrowly escaped, and God Forbid one should miss out on being part of all the fun! The most obscene example of the "Celebrity Connection" to 9-11 was the vile American Express commercial of last year coinciding with the practically IMPOSSIBLE FOR NORMAL PEOPLE TO ATTEND Tribeca Film Festival, with Robert De Niro depicting his heartfelt reaction to 9-11, going on about "His City...His Grief...blah blah blah" What the fuck is THAT?!?!?!? Because he's some famous actor, Robert De Niro has inroads to Greater Pain than the rest of us? HIS experience of 9-11 dwarfs that of the common man, and should be looked up to as a great, shining beacon of The True And Deepest September 11th Experience. What a sicko. Him and that other deified creature, Oprah Bleedin' Winfrey. I'll never forget her stupid face a few days afterwards at a ceremony trying to pretend to be Maya Angelou, with her pathetic attempt at poetry that transcends itself into song because of the sheer emotion of a situation, "We Shall Overcome..." Sick. The two of them are a pair of megalomaniacs. I don't care about Robert De Niro's Grief. I care about mine. I care about that of regular people. I find it incredibly offensive that American Express found a way to SELL itself by branding The September 11th Grief Of The Great Robert De Niro. Wow. That takes some serious balls. Makes me cringe at the mere notion that I have one of their drippy NYC cards in my wallet. I should shred my hypocrisy and cut the thing into a thousand little pieces.

Clearly, there is a disconnect between the reality of what happened that day, and our impressions and interpretations of what happened. As time passes, the distortions seem to grow rather than recede, and September 11th resembles more and more a grotesque cliché, a monstrous symbol to be batted about like a dangerous toy, to underscore the hideous agendas of power players on the national and world stages.

A GLTA Title Winner At Last (Utopia Found)!

I have much to say about Provincetown, Mass. and all of it good, but I must be brief now, and elaborate later. I attended the Provincetown Open tennis tournament of the GLTA, and what a treat! The five courts were Har-Tru clay, and nestled amongst trees behind the old-fashioned clubhouse there. In between playing matches and watching matches, we were also treated to watching the US Open on a big fat Sylvania TV from the 70's, which just added to the allure of this magical place.

During my singles final, I got into "The Zone" in the beginning of the second set, and it was heavenly. I won the match
6-2 6-2, and thoroughly enjoyed every moment of it. I won all of my singles matches up to and including the final in straight sets, only one set even making it to a 6-3 scoreline. I felt confident and relaxed the whole time, and that further bolstered my spirits.

P-town itself was a magical treat in so many ways. The charming, gorgeous architecture, little cottages, grand homes, spectacular gardens and landscaping were breathtaking to behold. The most striking feature of this utopic place, however, was the ease with which gay and straight peeps coexisted, well, really MELDED together, effortlessly, in a shining example of what the world could be. AMAZING. We should all aspire to be like that. I loved wrapping up the trip on Sunday afternoon, sitting on a bench, listening to Ellie, Provincetown's Original Showgirl, stunning at 74, sitting on her stool singing ditties, and offering greetings to all the passerby.

I also must point out the joys of pedicabs, in which I took great delight, riding in them at any possible opportunity. Antique shops, and novelty shops abounded, and the treasures procured from them were numerous, and highly pleasurable. Many presents were bought for upcoming visits to family and friends, along with a couple of baubles for myself, and for my apartment, natch. Oh, and dinner at Devon's was one of the most spectacular meals I've ever had. What a terrific chef! Had a nice time chatting with a couple from Boston at the next table over about the south of France, P-town, the amazing food we were consuming... Lunch at the Lobster Pot on Sunday afternoon was also sublime. Lobster Scampi- MUAH!!!

Ahhhhh, P-town... What a pleasure being introduced to you this very first time... To many meetings in the future...

Love,

Matt

Project Runway Ruminations

How stupid is Robert? Week in, week out, he talks about how he doesn't want to be boring again, and then he goes and is boring YET AGAIN. He deserved to get Auf'd last night, and the only thing I'll say in his defense was that his model was as big as a house, and I don't know what a pattern would have done to enhance the design much, and she seemed to love her little outfit. You have to go for SOMETHING on the show though. I'm just baffled as to how he could be so self-defeating while simultaneously acknowledging his purported desire to break free of the bounds of boringness.

Even Tattoo Neck, who was being such an asshole last night, at least tried to do something mildly creative when faced with designing for Angela's whining mother. I'm sure Angela had complained about him to her mother prior to this Challenge, so my take is that Mommy came in with an ax to grind from the get-go.

Uli is really stepping up to the plate, and I thought her design should have won, instead of Mr. Annoying's creation, which was nice, but hardly spectacular. Her designs are always visually and texturally interesting and appealing. I definitely am moving her up into my Final 3 predictions, especially since Alison was already booted.

Kayne is still in my projected Final 3, but his designs have fallen short for 2 weeks now. I loved how Michael's mother was working the runway. She clearly felt fabulous, and enjoyed herself. I thought they were a bit hard on him though, as it seemed like a reasonable outfit for the everyday woman.

I even thought they were too hard on Angela, and why shouldn't her design be "fashion-forward" as Heidi instructed, and not overly dwell on the age of Laura's flabby-armed Momma? She clearly got a kick out of wearing that get-up, and I didn't think it was inappropriate really.

I thought it was funny the way Laura clumsily announced that she was "...fabulously pregnant." much to the surprise of Momma. For somebody who is so biologically maternal, she does have a hard edge to her about the whole thing. What was it she said, something about "throwing the latest one on the pile with the 5 others"? Wow. Lucky fetus.

Baby Machine's design was baby vomit, if you ask me. I hated the way the skirt was up to her model's tits, and as a result, how the blouse was so short. The tailoring was impeccable, though. Mommy certainly can sew. She's kind of like a modern day Maria Von Trapp, what with number 6 on the way, the red hair, and who undoubtedly could make some mean kids clothes out of curtains.

Mr. Annoying continues to underwhelm, but at least his design looked kind of normal this week. Can't hurt his chances to improve like this. However, he will self-destruct again soon enough, and it will be his demise.

Revised List of Auf'd Predictions:

Top 3:

Michael
Uli
Kayne

Da Rest:

Laura
Jeffrey
Angela
Vincent

They can only milk this Jeffrey-Angela conflict for so long. It was downright bizarre to see their mothers talking about the drama. Jeffrey's mother was overly-defending him, I thought. Of course, when your kid goes from being a homeless junkie, to a good designer, a father, and lands a gig on the most fabulous show of Summer, you're bound to look to the positives. Still, I did feel badly for Angela's mom, as she didn't deserve to be talked to in such a disrespectful, arrogant way. The whole thing was too much. Another great episode, and I HATE having to wait a week for another installment! I really think they should have an episode where they design an outfit for a tennis star from the WTA Tour. And that star would agree to wear the winning design during the US Open, which starts on Monday. What perfect timing that would be!